


you caught me in the tide (and I caught you)

by awesomecharmander



Category: Corpse Party (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Pre-Relationship, anyway ayumi and yoshiki are the only valid straight ship sorry i don't make the rules, blood drive? never heard of her, i'm kidding please don't slaughter me, it's so liberating to write for a dead fandom cuz i know no one will read this lmao, it's so tragic that we never got a sequel to corpse party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-09-26 17:56:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20393788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/awesomecharmander/pseuds/awesomecharmander
Summary: Ayumi didn't expect much normalcy from Kishinuma, what with the whole "we survived an eldritch location set on murdering us" ordeal, but even she found it concerning to see him passed out on the classroom floor.





	you caught me in the tide (and I caught you)

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic, so criticism is appreciated, but please be gentle :')
> 
> The title is from "Slow Life" by Of Monsters And Men.
> 
> Hope you enjoy!

As class rep, Ayumi had a certain sort of pride in seeing the classroom tidy and ready for the following day, so she had made a habit of checking on it before heading home.

(That was a lie. She had realized recently that doing her job with extreme zeal provided a temporary distraction from the gaping maw of trauma, and she’d be damned if she didn’t take advantage of it to the fullest.)

That day, it was Kishinuma’s turn to make sure everything was in order, which added a new layer of complexity to her otherwise mundane routine. After all, she _had_ been avoiding him for the past few weeks. He himself wasn’t the issue. The problem was that when she looked at him, she couldn’t help remembering all of the awful things they had witnessed, all of the friends they had lost.

To make matters worse, the way he met her eyes had changed: gone was that certainty, that quiet strength that had kept her afloat in Heavenly Host’s accursed halls. Now he just looked tired, bone-deep weariness leaving him a hollow husk of the boy she had grown to appreciate.

Ayumi had considered simply forgoing her visit to the classroom this time, but even she realized how unfair that would be to Kishinuma. It wasn’t his fault that she couldn’t let go of the pain.

It wasn’t his fault that she couldn’t let go of the guilt, either.

And so she went, cringing with every step, dreading the sad look he’d no doubt throw her way when their eyes met. What she didn’t expect, not in a million years, was to find him lying face down on the floor.

Ayumi’s blood ran cold. Was Heavenly Host’s influence still lingering?

With a speed she didn’t know she possessed, she knelt next to him, shaking him frantically. “Kishinuma? Hey, wake up! What’s going on? Are you ok?”

After a few dragging seconds, he started to stir. “Shinozaki?”

“You idiot! You scared me!”

“Huh? Why the hell would I be scaring you? Wait, what are we doing on the floor?” His voice was rough with sleep, tone probably surlier than intended.

“Apparently someone thought that would be a nice place to nap on,” Ayumi said, glare accusing, not convinced this wasn’t some prank he was trying to pull to get back at her for avoiding him. The confused face staring back at her easily dispelled that suspicion, however. “Did you really just fall asleep? Are… Are you alright, Kishinuma?”

“I’m fine,” he said, standing up and dusting off his pants. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Are you sure? We could go to the nurse’s office…” she suggested, instantly regretting it. The memory of Suzumoto’s horrifying death was still too recent, wound still too fresh. The mere mention of an infirmary made her heart constrict, and judging by Kishinuma’s reaction, he wasn’t too keen on heading there either.

“I’m going home, Shinozaki,” he said softly. “You should too, before it gets dark.”

Ayumi sighed. She didn’t have the energy to make a fuss. “You’re right. See you tomorrow, then.”

“See ya.”

*

Ayumi was still going over that stilted conversation during lunchtime the following day. _‘You don’t need to worry about me’ he says. He fell asleep on the floor! You’d think being concerned would be the normal reaction, but no! I’m Kishinuma, and I keep acting like I’m dead inside, but I refuse to let people help me_, she thought, bitterness spreading through her chest. _This is exactly why I’ve been avoiding him! God, it’s like he’s not even here!_

Ayumi wasn’t unaware of the reason behind Kishinuma’s uncharacteristic behavior. How could she be? They had spent most of their time in Heavenly Host by each other’s side. She wagered no one in the world understood what he was going through quite as well as she did.

That didn’t mean she had to like this sudden personality change. It made everything realer, somehow. Seeing Kishinuma struggle prevented her from chalking up that disgusting experience to a bad dream of hers. And, if she were truly being honest (which she rarely was, these days – honesty was hard to muster), she’d admit that she missed his loud voice, and that surprising warmth he kept hidden from the world. This new boy wasn’t cold by any means, but he lacked something essential Ayumi couldn’t name.

Preoccupied as she was, she didn’t immediately see him after rounding the corner of the exterior walkway, but it didn’t take too long for her to notice something in her peripheral vision.

There Kishinuma was, slumped against a wall, sleeping, _again_.

This time, every trace of hesitation was gone. Their relationship might not have been at its most solid as of late, but that didn’t matter right now. She had faced far scarier things than an awkward conversation with Kishinuma.

With that in mind, Ayumi marched toward the sleeping figure, placing a firm hand on his shoulder. “Kishinuma, wake up! I do not have time for this, wake up!”

To his credit, he jumped awake almost instantly. “Shinozaki? What are you-“

“Don’t. You told me you were fine, but somehow I find you sleeping at a random place yet again! Would you mind explaining this new habit of yours?” The question came out with more bite than she intended, and she winced. She knew harshness wasn’t the best approach, but his subdued behavior was getting under her skin.

Kishinuma hesitated, peering at her face intently, searching for a sign Ayumi didn’t know how to give. He must have found something, however, because, shoulders slumped, gaze averted, he admitted, quietly, “I can’t sleep. Well, I can, but I always get the same damned nightmare.

“I’m there again, like I never left. And I’m all alone. I look for you, and you’re always dead, killed in some fucked up way. Sometimes it’s even my fault. But it doesn’t end with that. Of course not. After finding you, I find everyone else. Suzumoto getting smashed against the wall. Morishige throwing himself off the window. Ms. Shishido falling to her death. Shinohara hanging herself.

“The other deaths vary. When I’m lucky, I wake up before seeing them. I’m not very lucky, most days.”

Kishinuma looked back at her. Ayumi stood very still, tears and horrified silence all she could offer. Her own nightmares were much the same, albeit more sporadic. She couldn’t imagine how awful these past weeks had been for him, waking up screaming night after night to an empty apartment. It broke her heart.

“You haven’t been sleeping well either, have you?” he asked, reaching out and cupping her face with his hand with a tenderness that surprised, thumb ghosting over her own eye bags. How could he notice anything besides his own misery? How could he still have the strength to care?

Without warning, she threw herself at Kishinuma, hugging him as tightly as she possibly could, crying into his shoulder with renewed vigor. “I’m so sorry! I’m so so sorry you had to deal with that alone! You should have told me!”

Petting her hair gently, he said, “I didn’t want to worry you. You’re dealing with your own things, I didn’t want to add mine to the pile.”

“You’re such an idiot… That’s what friends are for, right? We can help each other out. I wouldn’t have survived that horrible place if you hadn’t been there with me. You saved me. Over and over again. Let me save you too,” Ayumi insisted, pulling back the slightest bit to stare into his eyes.

“You’re… You’re too nice to me,” he muttered, cheeks a shade redder.

“I know, I’m pretty much Mother Theresa at this point.”

He snorted, and Ayumi’s heart warmed. He wasn’t gone from her side, not yet, and she wanted to keep it that way.

It was strange: before Heavenly Host, Mochida was all she could think about. Now things had changed. She still liked him, no doubt, but dating him? No, Nakashima could have him.

Kishinuma, on the other hand, had become a fixed point in her heart, an indelible mark on her soul. Ayumi wasn’t ready to name what she felt for him yet, not before dealing with her own traumatic experiences. Still, she hoped he’d remain by her side until she managed to.

For now, she’d be content in supporting him, as he had supported her. Together, they could weather the storm and come out the other side. A little worse for wear, sure, but complete nonetheless.

“Hey, let’s go have lunch before class starts,” Ayumi said, moving away from his embrace with some reluctance.

Her suggestion was only met with soft snoring, however – Kishinuma had somehow fallen back asleep, chest rising and falling in rhythmic motion. Ayumi let herself stare for just a moment. His features were softened now, peaceful. It made her smile.

“Honestly, what am I going to do with you?” she whispered, voice warm.

Settling back into his arms, Ayumi decided that, just this once, lunch could wait. Kishinuma was finally getting some well-deserved rest, and she could feel her own fatigue dragging her down and making her sluggish.

“I guess one little nap can’t hurt…” she mumbled, finally succumbing to Kishinuma’s warmth, the one she’d dearly missed.

If any of her classmates teased her for it, well, that was a problem for future Ayumi to deal with.


End file.
